Most of y’all would probably agree that today’s post could be summed up with a two-word phrase (rhymes with “Bump Tim” 🧐🙃), but you guys know I’m wayyy more loquacious than that {to put it politely}. 🤪😂
So first off, I want to congratulate Krissy on her health and fitness journey, and her incredible weight loss. As someone who has continuously struggled with her weight since entering adulthood, I know firsthand how difficult it can be, and I commend Krissy on both her decision to begin this new chapter with her fitness journey as well as the discipline and determination she has embodied in order to achieve such a monumental milestone. 🥳👍💖
As far as Krissy’s boyfriend is concerned, though, I’m definitely not impressed with his comportment.
Now, to be fair to Krissy’s boyfriend (which I really don’t feel inclined to do, yet have an obligation to be for the sake of objectivity in the post LOL), everyone has their ‘type’.
Most guys have a specific body type which they consider the most appealing, both visually and sexually, the same as us gals. Some men are physically attracted to someone with a lean and slender build, while some like a more athletic physique, and some prefer a fuller and/or curvier figure.
And that’s perfectly natural. Not everyone likes Vanilla Ice Cream. Some of us want a little Rum ‘n’ Raisin in our cup, or a big ol’ scoop of Cookies ‘n’ Cream on our waffle cone.
HOWEVER …
Human beings are a bit more complex than a double scoop of Cherry Coconut topped with rainbow sprinkles (or most of us are, at any rate 😉🙃).
For the vast majority of us, the person we woke up next to this morning isn’t the same person we fell in love with a year ago, or even a couple months ago.
And that’s also natural.
Humans are ever-evolving creatures. Even the most basic happenings in our day-to-day lives have an impact on us, either consciously or subconsciously, and we grow and change as a result. For example: When I first met Marc, he wasn’t particularly a fan of board games; yet, in the last month, I’ve gone bankrupt from landing on his stupid hotelled-up Boardwalk TWICE!!! (Yes, I’m extremely bitter, and I don’t care who knows it. 🤡😂)
My point is this … Being stuck inside during the pandemic months forced us to find ways to amuse ourselves after the novelty wore off at the end of Week 1, and we both had to make adjustments in our lives which we were not necessarily prepared for but which were essential in order to maintain our relationship. So we adapted and grew together as a couple. And the same can be said for many other folks out there who woke up one morning and found themselves trapped in a house with their beloved significant other, and suddenly noticed just how many annoying habits their partners actually have. (I’m pretty sure Marc’s eyes got stuck in the back of his head more than a couple times from all the rolling they did during those first few weeks of lockdown. 🤭😅)
But that’s when you know a relationship is worth holding on to: when it doesn’t go exactly according to the picture you had in your mind, but you love the other person enough that you’re willing to toss out that old picture and create a new one.
For example: If one partner loses their job because the company they work for unexpectedly closes its doors, the other doesn’t simply pack up their belongings and move out. Instead, they postpone that romantic vacay they were planning, and they cut corners and rework their budget as a unit to get by until the unemployed party finds a new job; or they find other ways to keep things afloat while they’re a single-income household.
So if one partner chooses to walk away from that union as a result of something superficial, say for example their significant other gains some weight or starts balding, then it’s safe to say that they weren’t truly invested in the relationship, because true love doesn’t care about those cosmetic things.
Pierce Brosnan and his wife Keely leapt to mind here, in particular his glorious response to the internet troll who had nothing better to do with their time than attempt to fat-shame and belittle a gorgeous woman: “I strongly love every curve of her body. She is the most beautiful woman in my eyes!”
Kudos to him!!! Not only for putting an offensive jerk squarely in their place, but also for loudly and proudly stating to the world that he loves Keely for the beautiful human being she is on the inside as well as the outside, and for being an amazing wife and a wonderful mother to their children.
Thus, walking away from a relationship because your partner chooses to do something they deem necessary to improve their quality of life is a clear indication that you aren’t truly devoted to either the relationship or your significant other. And this may unfortunately be the case with Krissy’s boyfriend.
His investment in their relationship may not have equalled hers, and he may have viewed their connection as more of a casual attachment than she realized. So while he may have been physically attracted to the curvier version of her, his emotional attachment to the woman she is on the inside may not have been on par with the connection she felt to the man she was dating.
And, if such is in fact the case, then my advice to Krissy would be to leave this relationship behind. It’s always best to hold out for something genuine, i.e. someone who sees your true worth, and values and appreciates you for the remarkable human being you are.
However, there is another possibility which may be at play here:
Krissy’s journey toward a healthier and fitter self could be creating doubts and fears in her partner. And this is in no way, shape, or form her fault. This is solely HIS issue.
Her blossoming self has no doubt also gained a greater level of self-assurance with the achievement of each of her health and fitness goals, and this new confidence of hers could be undermining his.
But, as I said, this is not her issue!
I personally know a ‘gentleman’ brazen enough to say that he prefers curvier women because, according to this individual, ‘heavier girls’ have less self-confidence, so it’s easier to ‘get them’.
Despicable, I know. But, sadly, true. 😬🥴
So it’s possible that Krissy’s boyfriend may have suddenly found himself questioning his ability to ‘get’ a woman like the new her. Or worse, to ‘keep’ her. His own insecurities and self-doubts may be the driving force behind his sudden absence from the relationship.
But in order to find out what is at the root of his change in behavior, Krissy and her boyfriend Need to {say it with me 😋} COMMUNICATE.
They need to sit down, and have an open and honest conversation about the current state of their relationship, the changes that have taken place in them as individuals as well as the change that has occurred in their union, and whether they see a future for their relationship, or even want one.
If she finds out that he wasn’t as invested in the relationship as she, then she can feel free to move on and look for something more serious, or she can choose to take a step back in the relationship and allow it to flow at a more casual pace which matches her boyfriend’s.
If she learns that his insecurities and doubts are to blame, then she has a decision to make: Do I try to find ways to reassure him of my love and commitment without compromising and/or abandoning my own goals, or do I walk away from this relationship and hold out for someone who is secure enough about their own self-worth that they can fully appreciate mine?
And if she discovers that he has in fact been cheating on her, then she has another huge decision to make: Is this relationship worth saving?
If she decides ‘No’, then she can walk away with her head held high, secure in the knowledge that she gave the relationship her all and did nothing to damage it.
But, if she decides the relationship Is worth saving, then she and her boyfriend have a long road ahead and a lot of work that needs to be put in toward repairing it.
He needs to own up to his actions and apologize sincerely for hurting her; and he needs to reassure her through both his words and his actions that he regrets his mistake and that he is not going to betray her trust again in the future. And … She needs to come to terms with his failure and accept that it happened; and she needs to make up her mind that she is going to genuinely forgive him and move forward with their relationship.
Which, unfortunately, is often easier said than done.
Genuine forgiveness means not only offering that verbal reassurance but also displaying it through actions. It means we can’t throw someone’s mistakes in their face at every given opportunity, but instead we have to commit to putting the past completely behind us and focusing on the future.
Regardless of what choice she makes, I would like take this opportunity to say that I am extremely proud of Krissy for doing what she feels is necessary to polish the gold that she is, and to encourage her to continue on her journey toward being the best version of herself that she can possibly be. ⭐💖
That’s my take on the subject. Feel free to let me know if you agree / disagree in the comments.
Until next time…
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