Top 20 quotes about toxic people

“Avoiding certain people
to protect your emotional health
is not a weakness.
It’s wisdom.”
~ Steve Maraboli

“It’s not you, it’s me.” is to breakups what ‘Irreconcilable Differences’ is to divorce.

In fact, it’s been used as a reason for breaking up with someone so often that it’s gotten quite the bad rap.

We’ve all either used it or heard it at some point – “It’s not you, it’s me. I’m just not ready to settle down.”, or “I just don’t have the time to commit to a real relationship.”, or “I’m just bad at love.”

In an attempt to assuage the feelings of the dumpees, the persons doing the actual breaking up will often shift the blame for the dissolution of the relationship onto themselves, citing their perceived / manufactured shortcomings as reasons the other individual should in fact be thankful to be rid of them.

But I think it’s high time we erase the negative publicity it’s gotten, and give this phrase its flowers by reclaiming it as the anthem of self-empowerment it is!

A friend of mine recently ended a two-year relationship with his girlfriend because he had hoped they would someday have something more than a long-distance relationship, while she was perfectly content being friends with occasional benefits. And during their last WhatsApp chat, he told her “It’s not you, it’s me. I want more than you’re willing to give.”

And, perhaps because I was standing on the other side of the ring this time, firmly in my friend’s corner, I realized that his use of that little phrase went much deeper than a mere throwaway line. It was his assertion that he was worthy of more than the crumbs she was willing to offer, and that he was no longer going to settle for less than he deserved. It was a declaration of his self-worth!

“It is necessary, and even vital,
to set standards for your life
and the people you allow in it.”
~ Mandy Hale, The Single Woman–Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass:
Embracing Singleness with Confidence

We should never be so committed to a relationship – whether it be with a romantic partner, a friend, or even a family member – that we’re willing to hold on to it at the expense of ourselves.

Try as we might, or might wish we could, we can’t change people. They are who they are, and unless / until they are willing to change themselves, they will forever be who they are. But that doesn’t mean we have to subject ourselves to them.

It is very much okay for us to be selfish when it comes to our self-worth and our inner peace. It is very much okay for us to cherish those things, and to put them above someone else’s. And yes, it is very much okay – and at times absolutely necessary – for us to show people the door if their values or beliefs or behaviors don’t align with the good that is our inherent right as a human being to expect – nay, to demand! – for ourselves.

If you knew beforehand that someone was an emotionally abusive partner, would you still enter into a relationship with that person? Or if you knew that someone was only going to use you as long as they could get something out of you, would you still enter into a friendship with them?

Odds are, your answer would be a resounding NO.

So, why do we allow ourselves to stay in relationships with these types of people after we recognize their toxic traits?

Our sense of self-worth and our peace of mind should be our top priorities, certainly higher on the list of importance than their hurt feelings when we end the relationship. So, instead of attempting to shift some form of manufactured blame onto ourselves in an effort to be gentle, we need to assert our value loudly and proudly when we say “It’s not you, it’s me.”

“It’s not you. – You were never a true friend, and I accept that you were only using me. It’s me! – I’m worthy of genuine friendship, and I refuse to allow myself to be used conveniently any further!”

And to wrap up today’s post, I’m going to share a few quotes about protecting our self-worth and inner peace by avoiding toxic people:

“Even if you cannot change all the people around you,
you can change the people you choose to be around.”

~ Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

“Don’t associate yourself with toxic people.
It’s better to be alone and love yourself
than surrounded by people that make you hate yourself.”

~ Robin Williams

“To protect your spirit from contamination
you must limit the amount of time
you spend around negative people.”

~ Clyde Lee Dennis

“Toxic people attach themselves
like cinder blocks tied to your ankles,
and then invite you for a swim
in their poisoned waters.”

~ John Mark Green

“The wrong person will give you
less than what you’re worth,
but that doesn’t mean
that you have to accept it.”

~ Sonya Parker

“An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship
unless it gets inside the ship.
Similarly, the negativity of the world
can’t put you down
unless you allow it to get inside you.”

~ Goi Nasu

“You don’t have to live happily ever after
with every single person in your life
in order to live happily ever after.
Some unfortunate endings are necessary.”

~ Joyce Rachelle

“You cannot hang out with negative people
and expect to live a positive life.”

~ Joel Osteen, Become a Better You:
7 Keys to Improving Your Life Every Day

“Don’t expect to see positive changes in your life
if you surround yourself with negative people.”

~ Robert Tew

“One of the fastest ways you can
profoundly change your life
is to rid yourself of toxic people.”

~ Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders:
Inspiration for Living Your Best Life

“You teach people how to treat you
by what you allow, what you stop,
and what you reinforce.”

~ Tony Gaskins

“Let go of negative people.
They only show up to share complaints,
problems, disastrous stories, fear,
and judgment on others.
If somebody is looking for a bin
to throw all their trash into,
make sure it’s not in your mind.”

~ Dalai Lama

“Pay no attention to toxic words.
What people say is often
a reflection of themselves,
not you.”

~ Christian Baloga

“Hanging around the small-minded
eventually makes us small-minded.
The plant only grows
as big as the environment it’s in.”

~ Torron-Lee Dewar, Creativity is Everything

“Avoid negative people, for they are
the greatest destroyers of
self confidence and self-esteem.
Surround yourself with people
who bring out the best in you.”

~ Oscar Auliq-Ice

“Letting go doesn’t mean that
you don’t care about someone anymore.
It’s just realizing that the only person
you really have control over is yourself.”

~ Deborah Reber, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul:
101 Stories of Life, Love and Learning

“Sometimes you just have to be done.
Not mad, not upset. Just done.”

~ Anna Grace Taylor

“Toxic people will pollute everything around them.
Don’t hesitate. Fumigate.”

~ Mandy Hale, The Single Woman–Life, Love, and a Dash of Sass:
Embracing Singleness with Confidence