A first date is always a momentous and thrilling moment in our lives, but it can also bring with it a lot of pressure.
For the purposes of this post, I won’t even get into all the pre-date anxieties that a lot of us experience – from choosing the right ensemble to worrying about if we’ll have anything in common with that person to internally debating whether a kiss at the end of the date would be appropriate. That’s a whole other post by itself! 🤦♀️😂
The actual date can sometimes be a whole other kettle of stanky fish.
We want to do the mostest to get the best response, so we make reservations at the fanciest restaurant in town and we get all gussied up in our Sunday finest so we look our best from all possible angles. But too often we’re trying so hard to make a good first impression in order to secure a second date that we end up botching that first one with stilted conversation and awkward silences.
The funny thing is, a date is meant to be a way of feeling out a potential life partner, of seeing whether we have enough in common with that person to make a go of a long-term relationship. But even the rich and famous don’t spend their entire relationships living out one long date night. There’s a whole lot of real life that goes on in between those red carpet appearances. Which is why many of us are left gobsmacked when that reality bomb drops two months into what we had previously believed was the perfect relationship.
We suddenly realize that we don’t really know the person we’ve been dating because we’ve only seen them on their best behavior at Chez La Snooty with the tiny portions, but we’ve never seen them scarfing down that pre-date cheeseburger ‘n’ fries to ensure their tummy doesn’t break into a mid-date rendition of ‘All By Myself’.
On the flip side, you have all those gagillions of successful couples who say they were friends for a long time before the spark of romance lit their fires. And one of the main reasons these couples have an easier go of it is because they know exactly what they’re getting into with that person – they’ve already seen the frumpy laundry-day ensembles and heard the ear-splitting belches after that fourth slice of pizza.
Now, I’m not telling you to do your laundry and then grab a pizza on your first date; but there are tons of other things you can do that will help to eliminate some of that pressure to be perfect as well as offer a more conducive atmosphere for you to get to know the real person. The key is to do something fun and laid-back, something that allows you to shake off that faux-fur of impeccability which we typically don for our first date at that fancy-schmancy restaurant and view each other in a more realistic lighting.
And yes, we know there are already thousands of these lists floating around the interwebs; but ya know the POP fam had to add their two cents as well. 😁😎
So, without further ado, I give you our
FIRST DATE IDEAS TO HELP BREAK THE ICE
GRAB A CUP OF JOE
There’s a reason this one is first on everyone’s list of alternative date ideas – A coffee date provides all the one-on-one intimacy of a romantic restaurant date with half the pressure.
Plus, it’s typically a daytime activity, so you don’t spend the entire day stressing over your upcoming date.
LIVE ACTION DATE
Rather than a normal ole movie date night, take in a live band, a play, or a comedy show. It will give you loads to talk about while you’re grabbing something to eat at your neighborhood burger joint afterward.
TAKE A RIDE ON THE WILD SIDE
Visiting an amusement park provides an afternoon of wholesome fun while still allowing time to chat and get to know each other between rides. And the energized atmosphere helps to eliminate some of that awkward first-date tension.
A FOODIE’S DREAM
Whether it’s a gourmet cooking lesson or a sushi-making class, attending a one-day course together is a great way to break the ice in a public setting while still affording you enough chat-time to get to know each other.
Plus, your dinner is literally built into the date.
SHOP TILL YOU DROP
Search for hidden treasures in a used-book store or antique shop. If you prefer the outdoors, consider taking your date to a Farmers’ Market instead.
You can enjoy each other’s company and find some terrific bargains at the same time.
BREAK OUT THE SCORECARD
Bring your A-game to your first date with a little friendly competition, whether it’s a day on the golf course, a night at the bowling alley, or a few games of foosball at your local watering hole.
Plus, it’s a good way to see if your date is a sore loser; or worse – an ungracious winner.
COCKTAILS OVER SHRIMP COCKTAILS
Skip the four-course dinner and opt for a more relaxed night at an intimate bar; there, you’ll have the added advantage of fun date-night activities that you can enjoy together, whether it’s playing pool, rocking out with a live band, or belting out your favorite karaoke songs.
FOR THE ANIMAL LOVERS
Spend an afternoon at your local zoo or aquarium. The family-friendly atmosphere will help to put you both at ease, and you’ll pick up a few fun facts with which to wow your friends the next day.
A BREATH OF FRESH AIR
If you’re the outdoorsy type, consider going on a hike to some breathtaking location.
Of course, I certainly would not recommend wandering off alone into the woods with a complete stranger, but a lot of places offer guided tours which you can join or group tours which you can book with friends.
AN IMPRESSIVE PALETTE WITH A SWEET FINISH
A wine tasting at a vineyard may be a wonderful way to enjoy a romantic afternoon in a scenic location, but most of us don’t have a winery in our area. However, you can create the experience of a wine-tasting for yourself at your local wine bar.
And don’t be afraid to ask the in-house sommelier about the wines. They love sharing their knowledge with interested customers.
A SPLASH OF CULTURE
Visit an art gallery or a museum. It will definitely make for interesting conversation.
And you don’t need to be an expert to have an appreciation for art / history.
TAKE IT TO THE STREETS
Instead of dinner at a restaurant, why not try several? Create your own progressive four-course dinner by purchasing soups, appetizers, entrees and desserts from different food trucks / street food vendors.
Make your date even spicier by trying new foods at each stop.
ROOT FOR THE HOME TEAM
Attend a sporting event together and cheer on your favorite team. If you can’t get tickets to a major event, you can always join the crowd and catch the game at your local sports bar.
You might get so swept up in the excitement that you forget it’s only your first date.
FRIGHT NIGHT
If you and your date have a taste for the spooky, why not book a ghost tour of a (supposedly) haunted location? There are also virtual tours which you can book online if your neighborhood doesn’t come with its own built-in haunted house.
INDULGE YOUR SWEET TOOTH
Who needs dinner when there’s dessert? Skip to the good part and have your date at an ice cream parlor or a bakery cafe.
It offers the intimacy of a regular dining experience with a more laidback feel.
BE CREATIVE
Whether it’s a paint ‘n’ sip or lesson in glass-blowing, book a class at your local art studio and let your creative juices flow freely.
Even if you totally suck at it, it’ll be a fun and funny memory to look back on.
OUTDOOR DINING AT ITS FINEST
Plan a picnic. It’s probably one of the most versatile dates that can easily be rearranged on short notice – whether it’s daytime or evening, cozy or romantic, in the park or by the beach.
GET PHYSICAL
If you share a love of exercising and the gym, why not incorporate it into your date? Meet up at the gym for a workout, or go for an evening jog.
It’s a great way to get sweaty on a first date!
LOCAL TOURISTS
How many of us have lived somewhere our entire lives yet never seen most of the local attractions?
Remedy that by becoming a tourist in your own town, and visit a couple of those picturesque / historic / cultural places on your date.
FANCY A SPOT OF TEA?
Go fancy and visit a tea room where you’ll be able to sample a wide variety of exotic teas and dine on elegant finger foods.
It’s all the fun of a wine-tasting without the tipsiness.
Until next time…
