BETTER, NOT BITTER -

Let me start with the back story that led to today’s post:

I was at the mall a couple weeks ago and I ran into a friend – whom I shall refer to as Ethel because it’s my blog and I can name her whatever I want and ain’t nutn she can do bout it.🤪🤡😂

So anyways, we decided to grab a coffee and catch up. That’s when I learned that Ethel had recently broken up with her boyfriend of more than a year. That’s also when I learned that this uncoupling occurred because she found out that said boyfriend had been cheating on her for almost the entirety of their relationship … With Her Cousin! And the only reason she found out is because said cousin was pregnant, so the horny couple had no choice but to come clean about their affair.

I won’t lie, I almost choked on my mocha-choca-frappa-dappy-doo!

But my brain officially fainted when she informed me that she was there to buy a gift. For her cousin’s new baby. With her ex-boyfriend.

After momentarily losing the ability to formulate words, I of course questioned what the hell she was thinking and whether she needed my help getting off those drugs she was obviously on.

And that’s when Ethel spoke those three little words: “Better, not bitter.”

And I tell you, she left me with my mouth hanging open for a good two minutes.

During which time she took the opportunity to explain that she was better off knowing the truth rather than living a lie; and despite feeling like a fool, she chose not to be bitter about it because she was actually thankful that she had discovered what type of person her ex was fairly early into the relationship rather than ten years down the road after they were married with three kids and a shared mortgage.

Not gonna lie, if it had been me in her situation, I would’ve been tempted to decorate his car with my keys and his face with my knuckles. But my sweet friend is indeed a bigger person than me, or her cheating ex, or her loose-legged cousin.

Being the bigger person isn’t always an easy thing to do. There are times when we’re tempted to scream and shout at people because we know we’re right, or maybe even get stabby with folks because they’ve wronged us in the worst way. But giving in to that hurt and rage ultimately affects us way more than it does the other person.

Not only do we perpetuate whatever issue it was that brought about the brouhaha in the first place, but we also allow that negativity to steal our peace of mind, leaving us tense and anxious and stressed out over something that may be out of our control. As in Ethel’s case, there was nothing she could have done to stop her ex from cheating on her.

Now, ‘the other woman’ will typically argue that she could have been nicer to him, or supported him more, or been more accommodating in the bedroom; but those are just excuses to justify what she was doing with that man.

The reality is that some people simply aren’t ready to be in a monogamous relationship, whether it be because they’re emotionally unavailable, they have commitment issues, they desire more sexual freedom, etc. And no matter how great a partner you may be to someone like that, they will still find something lacking in the relationship and some excuse to step outside of the relationship, not because of anything you did or didn’t do, but because of whatever issues they may be dealing with which they haven’t yet worked through.

But being the bigger person doesn’t always have to involve buying gifts for the other woman’s child.

Refusing to allow ourselves to be baited into an online war of words with the troll who leaves a snarky comment under our IG post is being the bigger person. Smiling at the co-worker who was talking smack about you behind your back is being the bigger person. Not cursing and flipping off the driver who refused to let you merge is being the bigger person.

So, as we continue our journey of self-improvement, I’d like to share a few quotes I found inspirational with you.